To support each other and their relationship there are certain habits which happy and long-lasting couples practice each and every day.
These habits, rather than feeling like effort or work, become joyous attitudes and labors of love that allow couples to feel grateful, appreciated and deeply blessed.
Both partners deeply love and care for one another in a relationship, yet we’re not always taught what couples who stay together do on a daily basis to enrich each other and to seed satisfying lives.
Read the 4 habits below that lasting couples practice, and if you and your partner aren’t using some of them yet, then make sure to give them a try!
They Focus More On Their Emotions
Emotional work is something that we rarely hear about, but psychologists study this topic as a factor in relationship happiness.
One thing that lasting couples do is care for each other’s feelings by doing the emotional work that the relationship requires.
Researchers in the “Journal of Family Issues” say that, “Family members do work to meet people’s emotional needs, improve their well-being, and maintain harmony.”
When emotional work is shared equally, both men and women have access to emotional resources in the family. However, like housework and childcare, the distribution of emotional work is gendered.’
Women are the ones who typically talk more about their feeling in a relationship, but it’s not impossible to get a man to open up too. He needs to feel safe.
Researchers show how important emotional work is to healthy relationships.
Partners with a gender imbalance towards expressing their feelings, tended to see an erosion of the marriage, which poses a health risk from psychological distress.
So all in all, for a lasting relationship, men need to identify emotional cues from their female partner and help her to release feelings of anger or sadness or fear.
When male partners can express their feelings as well as support their companions emotionally, they have one of the biggest skills needed for a lasting relationship.
They Communicate Lovingly
Every day couples face challenges. Large or small, sometimes just getting coordinated to get out the door for work in the morning can be a task.
Then, later in the day, the topic of what you are having for dinner and who is going to cook it can become an issue. Beyond that, larger problems come up with regard to finances, health, family planning, social commitments.
Couples who have a lasting relationship make every day issues a breeze. They communicate well and problem solve. They don’t fret on the small things; they look forward to their future together.
They usually share a common goal, for example retiring early or paying off the house so that they have money to travel. The more shared goals you have, the easier it can be to problem solve.
They’re a team
“With a team mentality, couples lift each other up and are stronger together,” say the experts. “They make sacrifices to benefit the long-term partnership.” They make decisions together—one person doesn’t call all the shots.
When you are in a lasting relationship you seek to understand your other half rather than just talking to them. You express your viewpoint and ask your partner to contribute their opinion as well.
Communication is a gift that you can give your partner in the form of excellent listening skills. Misunderstandings can be a source of tension and anger in a relationship. Prevent problems by being fully present when your partner is speaking.
Eliminate distractions, make eye contact and do not wait to speak. Ask questions about what your partner said and restate their words so they know that you truly understand them.
The importance of excellent communication cannot be overstated for lasting couples. Open communication is also the basis of trust. Lasting couples do not hide things from their partner.
Create a Shared Special Moment
Public displays of affection aren’t just for teenagers. Happy couples aren’t afraid to show their affection for one in another, even in public. “Intimacy and touch keeps you connected with your partner,” say experts.
“It fosters a connectedness that supports a strong and happy relationship.” Don’t worry; you don’t need to have a full-on make-out session in front of your in-laws. But you can keep your love alive by holding hands at the mall or snuggling at the kids’ baseball game.
A little PDA goes a long way. “Just touching your partner will help you feel more connected, both physically, emotionally and intellectually. “Plus, it’s a great form of foreplay.”
Not to mention that it shows that you’re vulnerable. “When vulnerability is shown and nurtured, then trust in your relationship has the ability to grow,” says Kristie Overstreet, a licensed professional clinical counselor, certified sex therapist and author of Fix Yourself First: 25 Tips to Stop Ruining Your Relationship. Check out these other ways to use body language to build trust.
One of the best ways to make your spouse feel loved is to show graciousness, even for something as seemingly trivial as picking up the kids from a play date or grabbing a gallon of milk at the grocery store.
“Appreciation for all the good your partner contributes to your life is vital,” says Gilda Carle, PhD, relationship expert and author of Ask for What You Want AND GET IT. “Thank-yours go a long way to continuing wedded bliss.” In fact, a study in the Journal of Applied Sport Psychology found that gratitude increased an athlete’s self-esteem, which is a component of an optimal performance.
For the sake of your relationship, it’s important to express your appreciation for what your significant other does for you. “No one wants to feel taken for granted,” says Antonia Hall, MA, a psychologist, relationship expert and author of The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life.
“By finding things each day for which you’re grateful and expressing it to your sweetie, you foster positive connectivity with him. It will make him feel appreciated and often sparks his desire to want to please you all the more.”